Christmas is that most magic time when everyone smiles a bit more, feels a little more generous, and remembers the miracle of a birth that was a gift to the whole world. For many of us, Christmas is also a time of incredible stress. We shop for presents, worry about money, decorate the house and yard, and then have one get-together after another until we are exhausted. During the holidays we should be joyous and merry.
It can be easy to lose sight of what is really important when there is so much we "have" to do for the holiday. It is easy to feel unappreciated when hours of work end up mixed in a mess of shredded wrapping paper and discarded ribbon on the floor.
Christmas is a time for rejoicing, but for too many of us it has become the enemy. Without warning it can become a time of stress, resentment, and even anxiety.
So how can we recapture the magic of the season?
I admit I am a Christmas-stressor. With fours kids that want every expensive gadget they see on television, and a husband that "needs" his own new guy-toys, it is sometimes very easy for me to lose sight of what is really important this time of year.
I find that the miracles wait in the little things. When my youngest daughter sits transfixed, watching the play of the winter's weak sunlight across a metallic bow. When my eldest shovels the sidewalk of our elderly neighbor without being asked or even letting her know she did it. When my thirteen-year-old defends her belief in Santa, explaining that the spirit of the season is alive in every person who gives without asking.
Christmas is alive and well in my only son, who spends eleven months of the year being tormented by his sisters, but then spends his birthday money to buy his sisters things that make their eyes shine on Christmas morning.
I stress, it is true. It is super stressful to split the Christmas budget in such a way that everyone gets the same amount spent, and trying too to have each person receive the same number of packages. I struggle with the fear when we have to drive on snowy roads, afraid of the other drivers with excessive holiday cheer in a bottle. The howling misery when it is time to bundle up, find mittens and struggle to put boots onto tired little feet so we can return home.
For our families, Christmas is magic that just happens. For the Christmas Mom, it is a yearly trial of the spirit, a test of our will and strength and ingenuity. And for many of us, mostly forgotten in the gift exchanges, we still summon a smile to hide our selfish disappointment at having been overlooked yet again.
For the Christmas Mom, our holiday comes after the Nativity, after the New Year, when the parties are done. Maybe our holiday comes after we battle the crazed post-season sales to exchange unwanted presents at the stores.
After all the mayhem and merriment, comes a day when moms all over simply collapse, perhaps with a book freshly unwrapped, or new slippers, or a bottle of wine from some thoughtful relative. The day when the house is quiet, still a joyful mess and we can savor the silence that must be so similar to that long-ago night in a manger.
For me, I take another few moments on Christmas night, after the kids have gone to bed with all their new gains (toys, books, clothes and all piled on their beds with them). I turn off all the lights except those on our little tree, and I sit, in silence, and breathe a prayer of thanks.
Thank You, Lord, for the greatest gift you could give mankind. Thank you, Lord, for another year of health and happy growth for my family. And, most of all, thank You for helping me remember in these small moments what is most important during this season.
Tiny miracles in stolen moments: When the ribbon curls just right, when the wrapping paper cuts straight and even and the wonderful scent of the first warm cookie off the cooling rack. Trying to guess which present the kids will want to play with first. Our yearly debate about if Santa brought Baby Jesus a binky or a bodysuit. The kids insisting the pets need stockings because they are part of the family too. The quiet hours the kids spend making cards for their friends and folding origami for gifts. The secretive hush of falling snow, and the magic world it creates on bare trees and withered lawns. Ice crystals on the windows we can write our names in with a warm fingertip.
There are many things I do not like about the Christmas season - the shopping, the driving, the stress. But I love it so much I would bear far more to remain part of it. We all have this idea of making a "perfect" Christmas for our loved ones. The miracle is that every year we celebrate; it's as perfect as can be. We just need to have one of those tiny miraculous moments that remind us how blessed we really are.
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